Fear of the future
Have you ever felt like the future you long to step into is a million miles away?
As I entered month after month of job hunting in the midst of the Corona pandemic, I felt my future was lost.
The fog surrounding an uncertain future can do the following to us: it can make us have mood swings, feel incompetent, doubtful, skeptic, indecisive, depressive and fearful. Ultimately, it can create an actual crisis in our lives.
I knew the future would become my present because that’s the nature of time.
I just didn’t know if that future would be good. The ‘in-between’ felt like God had lost my address at times. To loose expectation in God is a dark place to live.
King David knew the pain of those dry and restraining seasons where we only get the manna we need for today but not the steak we desire.
He knew of wilderness experiences, both in his circumstances and in his soul:
‘“He ground my teeth with gravel and made me cower in the dust. I have been deprived of peace; I have forgotten what prosperity is. Then I thought, “My future is lost, as well as my hope from the Lord” Lamentations 3:16-18 CSB.
Doubt about past decisions
Not only does the in-between test our trust in God. It can test our trust in ourselves.
For me, I started to doubt and judge previous decisions I had made. Ruminating and regretful thoughts spun around: “I would have avoided this pain and sense of being stuck, if only I had chosen another major, taken a shorter education or lived another place, .”
On and on the accusing voice went with second-guessing, forgetting the truth that Søren Kierkegaard addresses:
“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards”
– Søren Kierkegaard.
It is sad when we dig up in doubt the decisions we planted in faith years ago.
We may not have seen the harvest of those seeds sown earlier in life yet but that is where “[…]we have need of patient endurance [to bear up under difficult circumstances without compromising], so that when you have carried out the will of God, you may receive and enjoy to the full what is promised” Hebrews 10:36 AMP.
Life demands patience of us, and patience only comes by daring to tolerate waiting.
It all comes down to trust. Trusting that the God who led us before will lead us again. Trusting that as we walk by faith, not by sight, we will be guided along the best pathway for our life.
What to do in the in-between
If you find yourself in the ‘in-between’ (and we often do in at least one area of life, hey?), then be encouraged with these verses:
“God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,
to the woman who diligently seeks.
It’s a good thing to quietly hope,
quietly hope for help from God.
It’s a good thing when you’re young
to stick it out through the hard times.
When life is heavy and hard to take,
go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions:
Wait for hope to appear.
Don’t run from trouble. Take it full-face.
The “worst” is never the worst.”
Lamentations 3:27-28 MSG .
In the Amplified Bible, the same verse ends with, “It is good for a man that he should bear The yoke [of godly discipline] in his youth. Let him sit alone [in hope] and keep quiet, Because God has laid it on him [for his benefit]” (my emphasis).
I find it fascinating that when we lean into discipleship, including discipline, it is to our own benefit — the benefit of becoming beautiful and strong inside out.
Adversity is to be received as training ground for those who love God.
How do we train in the ‘in-between’, then? Good question!
The Lamentations-verses above mention a lot of action-related words/verbs:
- to wait passionately,
- to seek diligently,
- to hope quietly,
- to stick it out,
- to enter the silence,
- to bow in prayer.
As you keep coming back to practicing these verbs in your life, your King and God will do His part and roll back the curtains when the new scene of your life is ready to be revealed and played out.
Breakthrough in soul and circumstance
Through the ups and downs of trust – distrust – then trust again — in God and myself, I experienced what is written in Romans 5:4 TPT: “And patient endurance will refine our character, and proven character leads us back to hope” (my emphasis).
The times I waited with hope and smiled at the future, life was more enjoyable in the ‘in-between’.
And you know what?
I got a job!
With the breakthrough, I discovered:
- God’s grace over my imperfect waiting
- I was busy moving to the next chapter, God was not!
- God’s timing is perfect.
Hope in the future
Remember, you have not disqualified yourself for a great future by any situation done by you or to you in the past.
Your future is not lost. It is safely placed in the hands of God:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” Jeremiah 29:11 NIV.
The fogginess will eventually lift and breakthrough will come.
In the meantime, spend less time looking for clarity and reasoning as to why life is hard right now, and more time trusting the One who is the Way, truth and life itself!
I encourage you, do not give up believing for your bright future!
Don’t stress out, and don’t be so hard on yourself.
You’re doing better than you think you are. God is right on time.
Love,
Sandra.