Waiting
When your future seems lost
Fear of the future
Have you ever felt like the future you long to step into is a million miles away?
As I entered month after month of job hunting in the midst of the Corona pandemic, I felt my future was lost.
The fog surrounding an uncertain future can do the following to us: it can make us have mood swings, feel incompetent, doubtful, skeptic, indecisive, depressive and fearful. Ultimately, it can create an actual crisis in our lives.
I knew the future would become my present because that's the nature of time.
I just didn't know if that future would be good. The 'in-between' felt like God had lost my address at times. To loose expectation in God is a dark place to live.
King David knew the pain of those dry and restraining seasons where we only get the manna we need for today but not the steak we desire.
He knew of wilderness experiences, both in his circumstances and in his soul:
'"He ground my teeth with gravel and made me cower in the dust. I have been deprived of peace; I have forgotten what prosperity is. Then I thought, "My future is lost, as well as my hope from the Lord" Lamentations 3:16-18 CSB.
Doubt about past decisions
Not only does the in-between test our trust in God. It can test our trust in ourselves.
For me, I started to doubt and judge previous decisions I had made. Ruminating and regretful thoughts spun around: "I would have avoided this pain and sense of being stuck, if only I had chosen another major, taken a shorter education or lived another place, ."
On and on the accusing voice went with second-guessing, forgetting the truth that Søren Kierkegaard addresses:
“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards”
– Søren Kierkegaard.
It is sad when we dig up in doubt the decisions we planted in faith years ago.
We may not have seen the harvest of those seeds sown earlier in life yet but that is where "[...]we have need of patient endurance [to bear up under difficult circumstances without compromising], so that when you have carried out the will of God, you may receive and enjoy to the full what is promised" Hebrews 10:36 AMP.
Life demands patience of us, and patience only comes by daring to tolerate waiting.
It all comes down to trust. Trusting that the God who led us before will lead us again. Trusting that as we walk by faith, not by sight, we will be guided along the best pathway for our life.
What to do in the in-between
If you find yourself in the 'in-between' (and we often do in at least one area of life, hey?), then be encouraged with these verses:
"God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,
to the woman who diligently seeks.
It’s a good thing to quietly hope,
quietly hope for help from God.
It’s a good thing when you’re young
to stick it out through the hard times.
When life is heavy and hard to take,
go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions:
Wait for hope to appear.
Don’t run from trouble. Take it full-face.
The “worst” is never the worst."
Lamentations 3:27-28 MSG .
In the Amplified Bible, the same verse ends with, "It is good for a man that he should bear The yoke [of godly discipline] in his youth. Let him sit alone [in hope] and keep quiet, Because God has laid it on him [for his benefit]" (my emphasis).
I find it fascinating that when we lean into discipleship, including discipline, it is to our own benefit — the benefit of becoming beautiful and strong inside out.
Adversity is to be received as training ground for those who love God.
How do we train in the 'in-between', then? Good question!
The Lamentations-verses above mention a lot of action-related words/verbs:
- to wait passionately,
- to seek diligently,
- to hope quietly,
- to stick it out,
- to enter the silence,
- to bow in prayer.
As you keep coming back to practicing these verbs in your life, your King and God will do His part and roll back the curtains when the new scene of your life is ready to be revealed and played out.
Breakthrough in soul and circumstance
Through the ups and downs of trust - distrust - then trust again — in God and myself, I experienced what is written in Romans 5:4 TPT: "And patient endurance will refine our character, and proven character leads us back to hope" (my emphasis).
The times I waited with hope and smiled at the future, life was more enjoyable in the 'in-between'.
And you know what?
I got a job!
With the breakthrough, I discovered:
- God's grace over my imperfect waiting
- I was busy moving to the next chapter, God was not!
- God's timing is perfect.
Hope in the future
Remember, you have not disqualified yourself for a great future by any situation done by you or to you in the past.
Your future is not lost. It is safely placed in the hands of God:
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11 NIV.
The fogginess will eventually lift and breakthrough will come.
In the meantime, spend less time looking for clarity and reasoning as to why life is hard right now, and more time trusting the One who is the Way, truth and life itself!
I encourage you, do not give up believing for your bright future!
Don't stress out, and don't be so hard on yourself.
You're doing better than you think you are. God is right on time.
Love,
Sandra.
From watch-watcher to map master
Have you ever impatiently waited for the clock to turn to the time you wanted it to turn? When we are aching for a moment to come about, it feels like time can only go too slow.
At Easter I went with my family to Geneva where we visited the famous Patek Phillippe Museum. The museum showcases thousands of different watches. The first pocket watch was made in 1540.
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There is a market for watches, obviously because they can be pretty accessories and a fine piece of craftsmanship. But there is a market for watches because we all care about time! We don't like being behind or even too far ahead of ourselves. We want to be right on time. We are watch-watchers, watching the clock and waiting, dreaming and hoping for something to come to pass.
I think this desire to be right on time is godly. We are created to follow a rhythm of grace and a timing.
What is not godly is when we try to take the matter of time into our own hands.
Jesus told the disciples in Acts 1:7-8:
“You don’t get to know the time. Timing is the Father’s business. What you’ll get is the Holy Spirit. And when the Holy Spirit comes on you, you will be able to be my witnesses in Jerusalem, all over Judea and Samaria, even to the ends of the world.”
Because timing is the Father's business, we'll benefit from loosing our glance on the clock and follow the directions of a map instead; the map of the word of God. <3
Psalm 19,7 MSG tells us that the life-maps of God are right, showing the way to joy. The directions of God are plain and easy on the eyes. God’s reputation is twenty-four-carat gold, with a lifetime guarantee. The decisions of God are accurate down to the nth degree.
Proverbs 4:11 MSG also tells us, "I am drawing a map to Righteous Road. I don’t want you ending up in blind alleys, or wasting time making wrong turns."
I personally know the pain of being a watch-watcher, staring down the clock for the minute hand to move in areas like starting to date, get married and finishing up studies.
The result has been the same - wasted time and ending up in blind alleys, as the Proverb above teaches us.
When I change focus from passively being a watch-watcher to actively studying the map of God's transforming word, I set myself up to receive what I'm hoping for in the Father's perfect timing.
Below are three keys which can help us see why and how we must go from being watch-watchers to becoming map masters:
1 - Sow your seed
"Go to work in the morning and stick to it until evening without watching the clock. You never know from moment to moment how your work will turn out in the end."
(Ecclesiastes 11:6 MSG)
This verse speaks about hard work and persistence. It speaks about us not needing to evaluate our job every single day to check if it's producing the fruit we are hoping to see from our labour. Instead of evaluating if we are getting the results we want, we are better off getting on with sowing the seeds that are moving us in the direction we are heading to. That will make sure we are not living short-sighted, but for the long haul. (even though getting regular wins are key as we move forward.)
As my pastor, Thomas Hansen, will often so brilliantly say, it's not our position in life but our direction that counts. As we sow the right seeds in the direction of God's principles mapped out in the bible, we will eventually get where we need to go in His timing. Our job is sowing the right seeds. His is the timing.
2 - Map it out
What do you already have in your hand that God has given you? For the Israelites, they had been given Jordan, their promised land, and a courageous leader in Joshua, who asked them to map the land, so the seven tribes yet to receive their inheritance could get their portion:
"So the men set out. As they went out to survey the land, Joshua charged them: “Go. Survey the land and map it" Joshua 18:8 MSG.
The bible speaks over and over about the principle of offering God what we have, and then God will add His miraculous power to it. So whatever you have been given, map out how you can best put it to use, just like the Israelites mapped out the land they had been given.
The meaning of mapping something out is with other words to outline, plan a route or course of action in detail, sketch out, rough out, block out, draw up, formulate, work out, frame, draft, plan, plot out, arrange, design, programme, think out, think through and to organise.
This is right in line with the scripture in Habakkuk 2:2 MSG that frames it this way:
"Write what you see. Write it out in big block letters so that it can be read on the run. This vision-message is a witness pointing to what’s coming. It aches for the coming—it can hardly wait. And it doesn’t lie. If it seems slow in coming, wait. It’s on its way. It will come right on time."
When we map out our dreams and resources, we can do what God tells us. We can walk in the paths He shows us. We can follow the life-map absolutely. We can keep an eye out for the signposts, His course for life set out in the revelation to Moses; then we’ll get on well in whatever we do and wherever we go (1 Kings 2 MSG).
3 - Expect His timing to be only good
When I fell into being a watch-watcher recently, I was tempted to doubt God's heart and if He even wants to give me what I purely and godly desire. When I started doubting in the waiting, my mum wrote out this amazing encouragement to me: "We must learn to trust that God will give us what we need, when we need it. He is ALWAYS timely."
That dream of yours you might be watching the clock to see happen, remember so much more is at play than you can even imagine! God is attentively, intimately aware of your heart's longing and aching in the waiting and at the same time He is working hard to connect all the dots. Because when your dream comes to pass, it will help a lot more people than you imagine! So many puzzle pieces will be put together for the kingdom to advance in and through you, and the testimony will be wild!
"What a Day that will be! No more cold nights—in fact, no more nights! The Day is coming—the timing is God’s—when it will be continuous day. Every evening will be a fresh morning." Zechariah 14:6-7 MSG.
The timing is God's for your life, and the timing is God's for the bigger picture it's speaking about in the verse above on that day when heaven comes to earth for good.
Our part is becoming great map masters of His word & revealed will, so we can align ourselves with what He has for us in the future.
His love is poured out for you and His timing is only for your good.
So let's dare going from being watch-watchers to becoming map-masters in Jesus' name.
In this together,
Sandra.
For the singles in waiting... 🌹🌹🌹
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Today is the day where chocolate boxes are given, instagram flows with sugary updates in honour of significant others' and the flower shops are booming with red roses ready to be bought! It seems like Valentines' Day has come to stay in Denmark. Waking up to this reality can be hard if you know the only red you will see today is the Netflix logo on your computer screen...
Being serious though, many hearts are aching in the midst of the celebration of love because a longing unfulfilled does make the heart sick, as Proverbs teaches. There is so much that could be said on this topic. So many broken hearts too. Every story individual. For some, past relationships that have not worked out will come to mind. For others, the fear of missing out on a great relationship and marriage is triggered. Others again might just be annoyed by the idolisation of romantic relationships in our society. Wherever you land, know you are seen and cared for.
Below, I will speak to those who desire to wait well for the right relationship that can lead to marriage, despite their past failings, and to those who need encouragement on that journey. <3
'Cause how do you wait well, even when the longing for marriage gets delayed? How do you cultivate contentment on a day like this and gather strength for the days ahead that are unknown, untried, undefined?
Well, I definitely did not wait perfectly but I can share for my experience since my season of singleness is over and I know what helped me. And when I'm thinking back on that single girl I was before I started dating my now husband, Lasse, a few things come to mind I would encourage her with.
So read along, single ladies, and here you go - virtual roses for you because you are a ravishing, ransomed & royal princess daughter of the Most High King! 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
Three points on what a royal daughter like you does...
- A royal daughter represents her kingdom well 👸
With this revelation lived out, you will already have a kingdom, a home, and a family to steward, while it isn't your natural one you are nurturing just yet. To represent the kingdom of God well, immerse yourself into the big, beautiful family you have in the body of Christ, and then you see in time how God will be faithful to your hearts' desires. Don't be busy attaining a new family. Nurture the one you already have. Make friends. Cultivate the ones you have. Be a blessing. Be an encouragement.
A princess represents her kingdom well by living by the word of God, and with her words, thoughts and actions point to him as her hope and anchor, not a relationship status.
Does that mean she cannot date? Of course not. Unless she truly feels it is a sacred time to only focus on her relationship with the Lord, her character, gifts, friends etc.
So if there are prospects of you hanging out with a guy soon, here is what I would remind myself of looking back to represent the kingdom well in that situation: (this is not an exhaustible list at all)
- Kindness - This is a good remember as it can sometimes be easy to be arrogant or not wanting to give anyone a chance for some of us girls. There are definitely guys you don't need giving a try hanging out with - If he is not loving Jesus or his life is not bearing any fruit of the Spirit and repentance, it will be a heavy dance being unequally yoked, and why then even go down that road and drink that coffee? As a princess representing God's kingdom, I would say your time is valuable and needed more important places. But kindness, always.
- Clear intentions - This takes bravery but is a blessing because it creates safety in getting to know one another when it develops to that place of hanging out on a one-on-one basis. (Group settings are an amazing, wise way to start out - group settings reveal a lot about a person) Also, it is a lie that there will be more butterflies to dating if "the game is played" and no words are revealed concerning the intentions of you two spending time together. I believe it is honest and respectful to the other person to set the intentions from the first time two of the opposite sex meet on a one-on-one basis and it can really avoid unhealthy attachments and heartbreaks due to different expectations. Lasse and I did that and it was a relief, and not at all boring after that. It was still very much an adventure getting to know one another even though we had made each other know we were checking each other out. Don't put the pressure on it that you need to know from the first time if this is something you could see progress. Just ask the other person for their intention of hanging out and be honest yourself without promising anything.
- Your body, your temple - The bible says it best: "Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body." 1 Cor 6,19-20 MSG. So practically, I will add to the verse above, be kind to your body by not seeking places of temptations while dating that will want you to go further than your inward and outward commitment to each other shows. Seek hanging out with others and seek public places.
2. A royal daughter takes responsibility for the welfare of others 👸
Use your royal position (you are in company with Paul and Jesus among others) of singleness to serve others in love. Look out for those who are having a tougher time than you are. It can help the victim mentality that can be easy to form. Seek out those other single friends that need a fun Valentines Day just like you!
I remember my Valentines' Days in 2014 and 2015, the two years before I got into a relationship with Lasse, as some of the funnest days of the year! One of the years I enjoyed the most delicious tapas with a girlfriend in her cosy student apartment overlooking Nyhavn while we also watched the Bible series and spoke life over another as we dreamt of the future.
With that I want to say, do what you need to do. Take initiative to make the day delightful instead of barely tolerable. Set a beautiful table. Buy someone ELSE flowers, like your mum or sister! Attend to your needs, and be brave also in asking someone else in needing your needs of company. If you don't have a sisterhood of girls, be sure to be the brave one to start building one. You can do this!
3 - A royal daughter knows she has a bridegroom already 👸
Yes, you are a bride already. This revelation will make you stand tall and confident, also without a ring on your finger. You belong to a kingdom (God's kingdom), you already have a home and a family (God's family) and you are already pursued by your bridegroom, Jesus.
🌹
A couple of months before I started dating Lasse, I was completely unaware of what awaited me. I leant into God and was probably enjoying my life more than ever, because I was at a place where I rested in the revelation that I have a bridegroom already.
As I was painting in my apartment a couple of days to get my creative on, I heard the Holy Spirit whisper to me that 2015 would be a year of surprises for me (the relationship a month thereafter definitely was). It would be a year of me exploring the creative more (I started writing, blogging and painting), and He reminded me that there was a door that might seem closed to me, but I needed to open it up. (the relationship with Lasse)
When God impressed these things on my heart, I was excited, but also a bit annoyed because I enjoyed my life so much. I was working a dream study job being a team leader at night reaching out to trafficked women, had great friends, felt really at home in my church, and I had just started to embrace my own creativity by writing.
My writing was actually what got my husband from being attracted and interested in me to begin actively pursuing relationship with me. Why? I think when we live being led by the Holy Spirit and start exploring our gifts and live fully, it is attractive. As we are stepping out and staying the path with what's in our hands, committed to keeping our hearts pure and alive, our life can preach abundance, fullness, contentment, overflow and greatness by serving, long before we are building that life with a husband. This will be such a blessing, as an inheritance claimed too soon is not a blessing in the end anyways, as Proverbs 20,21 teaches.
I will end with this:
Now, listen daughter, pay attention, and forget about your past. Put behind you every attachment to the familiar, even those who once were close to you! For your royal Bridegroom is ravished by your beautiful brightness. Bow in reverence before him, for he is your Lord!" Psalm 45, 10 TPT.
If you have not waited sexually or simply settled for a wrong relationship, listen to your Bridegroom's invitation above that's as new and dew fresh for you, His princess, today in 2019. The verse says forget about your past. Forget it! Let go! Deal with the hurts, get the help you need, and then move on. Put behind you every attachment to the familiar, even to those who once were close to you! For your royal Bridegroom is ravished by your beautiful brightness. You are clean and forgiven.
Bow in reverence before him, for he is your Lord, not your past.
God knows the desires of your heart! He is working on fulfilling them in the way He knows is best for you.
Reflect on:
- What desires has God already given to you?
- How can you best use what's in your hand now to become the person of maturity you want to be and meet?
- What prayers do you need to form now to turn worries into worship to get through this season well?
- What is your one healthy next step towards contentment where you are now?
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Enjoy Valentines' day,
Sandra.