discipleship
When life treats you tight
Have you ever been in a tight spot?
Have you experienced a tight financial situation or have you felt tight on friends? Have your to-do lists and deadlines been so tight that it feels like they are teasing you and about to squeeze the life out of you? Well, no matter what kind of 'tight' you are experiencing, our tolerance sure gets tested when the treadmill of life seem to treat us terrible or tight trials arrive.
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All this tightness we can experience can threaten our trust in Jesus or totally trash our trust. Thanksgiving becomes tight. The thrill of being alive becomes tight when we have a hard time imagining the transformation that's truly possible for our situation. The tenacity we once had turns tiring.
Synonyms to the word 'tight' are words like unyielding, solid, compact, compressed, stretched, strained and stressed. Life can definitely feel that way.
It did for me in the Summer of 2017. My sense of overwhelm was enormous with the responsibility of leading a newly started department of church, building a new marriage, intense health issues arising, having to move apartments and on top of that finishing a four year education, and not having the vision of what awaited me afterwards. In all of this, I felt God pruning and taking away stuff in my life; it was an excavation of my life. God was tilting the soil of my heart which exposed all sorts of ugly stuff in my character. I felt a spiritual battle going on for my future and I felt like I had no energy to fight it. The tightness was tough. And for me, I was dancing around the edge of burnout.
So what do we do when life throws that at us? What's the good news in all of this?
The word 'tight' has synonyms like to fix, fasten, and be closed firmly; hard to move, undo, or open. I believe that's the exact kind of TIGHT that GOD is holding you with! He is holding tight to you in this hour - his firm hands are strong and not letting go of you. It may look like you're surrounded, but you're surrounded by Him!
"If anyone stands in your way, if anyone tries to get you out of the way, Know this: Your God-honored life is tightly bound in the bundle of God-protected life; But the lives of your enemies will be hurled aside as a stone is thrown from a sling." (1 Sam 25,29 MSG)
Remember He is fighting the battle for you. Even when the path you know God has for you seems rough, don't doubt that He is holding you tight to Himself, even when the trials seem to hold you tighter. Call out to Jesus, and let this be your testimony, like it was David's:
"When I call, give me answers. God, take my side! Once, in a tight place, you gave me room." (Psalm 4,1 MSG)
What kind of room do you need in your life? Room to have fun, to rest, to create, to unload some burdens, just to breathe? Ask Him for that and see Him do the divine exchange He is so famous for doing; giving us His rest for our heaviness, His joy for our mourning and His comfort for our angst.
God brought me out of a tight place that Summer and into a revelation and sense that He was holding me even tighter to me than what was coming against me, and it gave me room to experience joy and rest again.
Side note is, I do still feel overwhelmed every day! There is nothing wrong with that in and of itself. But what I am learning is to be more overwhelmed by Jesus than whatever task is at hand, the art of bending without breaking and to rejoice in getting to live a big life and embrace the crazy that comes with it.
Can I encourage you, when you feel like life is tight, keep your eyes open, hold tight to your convictions through those circumstances, give it all you’ve got, be resolute, and love without stopping. (1 Cor 16:13-14 MSG.) Let the lines of purpose in our lives never grow slack, tightly tied as they are to our future in heaven, kept taut by hope. (Col. 1,3.5 MSG)
This prayer from King David I've made own, and you can do that as well <3
"With your very own hands you formed me; now breathe your wisdom over me so I can understand you. When they see me waiting, expecting your Word, those who fear you will take heart and be glad. I can see now, God, that your decisions are right; your testing has taught me what’s true and right. Oh, love me—and right now!—hold me tight! just the way you promised.
Now comfort me so I can live, really live; your revelation is the tune I dance to. Let the fast-talking tricksters be exposed as frauds; they tried to sell me a bill of goods, but I kept my mind fixed on your counsel. Let those who fear you turn to me for evidence of your wise guidance. And let me live whole and holy, soul and body, so I can always walk with my head held high." (Psalm 119,73-80 MSG)
Hold tight to Jesus. He is holding tight to you!
Love,
Sandra.
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Dip your toe in the water
Me. Myself. I. Words that normally would equal selfish to me! But I think there is actually more than one side to these words! They might have gotten too bad of a rap.
This post is some thoughts on how it can be easy to neglect ourselves in the name of selflessness! Thus avoid all that has to do with self so we can be selfless people, living for others. I know at least this lie has lived inside of me!
But I want to learn from Jesus who is the perfect example of being truly connected to His true identity as the Son of God. In order for me to walk in His footsteps and look like Him more and more, I realise how okay it is to know myself - strengths and weaknesses - so that I can be loved and embraced, with flaws and all.
It is also great to be self-aware (without being consumed by self-consciousness) so I can see parts of me I have orphaned, parts that still need the healing touch of Christ, and also to the rejoice over the parts of my self that Jesus' love has transformed.
Me, myself and I are therefore not to be shameful words which need to be avoided in the pursuit of being selfless! I think Augustine had a good point when he wrote in Confessions:
“How can you draw close to God when you are far from your own self?”
My own self is what needs to be honestly engaged in my relationship with God and others. Otherwise the relationship is just hypocrisy. Without engaging my own - at times - selfish, fleshly self, I live without wholeheartedness, not fully alive and just numb. A way I have lived but refuse to live anymore.
Instead I am waking up and rising up to the challenge of becoming aware of where numbness creeps into my life.
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'Cause to live from the inside out, wholeheartedly, I need to be curious about the movements of my heart. My heart from where life flows. It is all about emotionally healthy spirituality. It's about truth and understanding. Of myself and others.
As I have begun dipping my toe in the water - into the depths of my own soul - I have found help in different tools.
First of all, community with fellow believers and seeing myself reflected in the pages of the bible, that's a no-brainer!
But tools like the Enneagram and Meyers Briggs (Use whatever tool you trust and unlock something in your heart) have also had impact on my ability to get aware of my own blind spots.
Used wisely, tools like these are not to put myself in a box but rather to help me break out of them. They can truly help turn blind spots into sweet spots. In cooperation with the Holy Spirit, they can serve as ways to get curious...
They can reveal how I go about a problem and why I go about a problem like I do.
What's my go-to defense mechanism?
What makes me tick?
What am I hiding behind?
We need to be willing to observe our resistance to reality and our attachment to our old self. It is all about taking off the old to lay hold of the new life Jesus has for us.
"We have to be whole to be wholehearted, and reclaim and reconnect with the parts of ourselves we have orphaned." (Brene Brown)
It is so sad to think about how we orphan parts of ourselves!
I have orphaned myself at times because I have been terrified of being a separate self, an individual who must assert myself against others. I would often rather melt and merge into someone else or quietly follow my idyllic daydreams. This default to hide is not awesome. Also, I can easily feel over responsible for others and under responsible for myself.
Therefore I have to be aware of this pattern that when orphaned turn into numbing out and people pleasing where I unconsciously communicate, "Sorry for taking up space! Sorry for breathing!"
Thankfully, I do not have to stay this way!
When I begin to have a grace culture for my own heart, everything has permission to rise to the surface! Also all the nasty stuff! When light invades in to the dark corners of my soul, I can then - and first then - fruitfully light up the darkness around me. Therefore we should not fear digging deep!
We do not look inside to be introspective or to overanalyse ourselves to pieces. That will just turn out to be super overwhelming! We cannot fix or heal ourselves. Instead, we engage the Spirit to do His work in us.
Step by step, little by little, I trust our love will overflow more and more, and that we will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding. (Phil 1,9 NLT)
Getting to know ourselves that we might know God is the discipleship work of a lifetime!
So - dive in.
Explore.
Go ahead and dip a toe in the water! YOU are important.
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